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Helping Those Resistant to Help

How easy it is to give loving advice where loving advice is sought.


In contrast, how challenging it is to see the need for loving advice and for it to be unwelcome.


We all come across such situations.


For a heart centred person to witness the suffering of any sentient being, yet be unable to do anything about it, is highly distressing.


Worse still, is when we know (or believe) that we have the cure for another's pain and yet our help is rejected. Oftentimes, we witness suffering knowing that were the person able to adopt a different perspective, lifestyle, diet or spiritual identity, their suffering would end.


When they are unable to embrace such a suggestion, we typically feel upset, deflated, and frustrated. This is especially hard to cope with if those suffering are family members or other especially loved ones.


So how can we best help others whilst respecting their preference not to be helped?


My advice is to look deeper into the person's needs. In most cases, people resistant to positive change are that way because of being paralysed by fear. Fear is like an impenetrable wall of distorting mirrors that presents illusions to the fearful one - keeping them blind to truth (especially their own). Fear does not foster independent thought but rather attachment to the security of mass perceptions.


Fear does not facilitate the development of a person's independent education or personal beliefs.


Fear insists on loyalty to dogmatic authoritarian insistence.


The simple act of providing an authentically loving, non-judgemental, kind and compassionate space, where a person is invited to share their fears and tremble in the arms of a caring friend or family member, is often all it takes for the wall of distorted mirrors to subside and the light of opportunity to enter.


A fearful mind is a contracted mind. A relaxed mind is an open mind.

An open mind is the futile soil for positive change.


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